There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.  

-Martin Luther

 

One of my closest friends and his wife were married for twenty-five years—but not to one another.  Both were divorced a few years before they ever laid eyes on each other.  My friends wife, I’ll call her Lori, was married to a practicing alcoholic for the entire tenure of her first marriage.  And it was tough.  Her husband was far from perfect to put it nicely—but Lori will tell you that she was no angel either. 

Well, if she wasn’t an angel, who is?  Lori wasn’t about to divorce her husband just because it was difficult, she was going to love him instead.  She has told me that it wasn’t for their two children either that she endured what was, according to her, an often almost unbearable marriage at times.  It was out of love that she did so.  A good many of us would have counseled her to get out of dodge while the getting was still good and while she had something to offer—or in other words, something to market.  Oh, we wouldn’t have been so crude—we’d have spiritualized it by saying that God would want her to enjoy her life and being married to a screwed up man like that never was going to allow her that luxury. 

What may surprise you is that it was Lori’s ex-husband who ended up divorcing her—and not vice versa—and not for another woman.  It was a real blow for her.  But she doesn’t regret her decision to remain married to a man who eventually dumped her when just about everyone would have expected her to be the one doing the dumping. 

…It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it.    (1 Corinthians 7:2b-5, The Message Bible)

Some people would call Lori crazy and others might call her worse—I call her a hero.   

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