One cannot consent to crawl when one feels an impulse to soar.
        
-Helen Keller
     
                                 
I had what one might call an epiphany last night.  There has been a stirring in my soul of late and I feel as though I have been stripped naked of every disguise and shadow I use—to hide behind my selfishness.  It’s not like I haven’t sensed this before—it’s been a slow and tedious process—and anyone who’s been through it knows exactly what I am talking about. 
        
My gut tells me that I am a man in conflict, I have a knowledge of what to do but so often fail to do that which I ought to do.  I am torn between my will and my Masters will.  My fallen nature wants to be heard and followed when the last thing it wants to do is help anyone else.  I have too many carnal goals and not enough sanctified priorities—too many vain lusts and not enough holy passions—too many broken promises and not enough quality relationships—too many hidden excuses and not enough Godly fruit—and too many worldly possessions instead of heavenly valuables.
                                              
The David Crowder Band sings in their song Obsession:
                                   
And I’m so filthy with my sin
I carry pride like a disease
You know I’m stubborn, Lord, and I’m longing to be close
Your burn me deeper than I know
And I feel lonely without hope
And I feel desperate
Without vision
You wrap around me like a winter coat
You come and free me like a bird
                                       
Why is it that I can’t get away from my lower self?—One day I cut his life-line and the next day we are pals.  Like a cruise ship that leaves for a far-away island destination—it’s as if I leave the shores of selfishness to set sail in touching others for Christ only to return prematurely time and time again to a sand-bar of my own muck and mire.  What is it with me—will I ever be relieved of this ongoing struggle?  I wish I could tell myself so. 
             
 Worship God if you want the best; worship opens doors to all his goodness.  Young lions on the prowl get hungry, but God-seekers are full of God.   (Psalm 34:9-10, The Message Bible)
                                                 

I am hungry—for more of God than anything else.

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